I've been overweight my entire life. Being premature 9 weeks I was a tiny newborn but not long after I became very large compared to others my age. I know nothing other than being very big. I've been to see paediatricians and dieticians and every other person throughout my schooling life but nothing they said would ever motivate me. Before I was around the age of 16 I was ok with myself and didn't care what people thought. Then it all caught up with me, I became aware of how big I was and very self-conscious. At around 16 I was 115kgs. I hadn't got a doctors opinion but I think I was depressed- I put on about 20-25kgs in a year. Looking back I think that was the worst year of my life, I saw very little that was good in the world and it took a toll on me. At 17 yrs and after this massive weight gain I went and saw this doctor who told me things I already knew from the hundreds of other doctors I'd seen prior. He then discussed the option of surgery, at that point I thought that was my only option because I was so down and out that I felt I could never lose this much weight on my own. He told me they'd never go through with an operation unless I could lose weight on my own and not rely on the operation- because it wasn't a miracle fix. He said to call him if I was serious about this operation. (Meanwhile throughout the entirety of my life, my dad would be continuously supporting me and trying to motivate me to lose weight and be healthy. He would be taking me to the doctors, buying me healthy meals and paying for my gym.) I was determined to lose weight however I could- and I did. I lost 10-15kgs in the space of 2-3 months (on my own). It felt good that I did this entirely by myself. 6 months down the road I'd gotten back down to 120kgs. It was the last year of high school (18 y/o) where I lost all my motivation. I'd been so motivated to lose weight before I went to university, and it had all just piled back on before I was about to start. I put this to me not caring, me forgetting that losing weight wasn't always about looks but about health. I was so caught up with not caring about the way I looked that I put that 15kgs back on. I'd started university the year after and continued this act of not caring, which only lead to me putting on even more weight. I was 145kgs by the end of 2014. I told my dad one day that I need to try again, that it's not going to happen unless I say it will. So he suggested to see my gp just to check in with her and see if they can offer any extra help. She took some tests before we started and she told me that I was 1 point away from getting diabetes. It wasn't a shock because I'd heard it all through my life- "you're so close to being a diabetic". What was a shock was how 1 number could be the difference. She said the only way to reverse those numbers was to lose weight. She was hesitant at first because of my age but said this was a last ditch effort to lose weight somehow then she subscribed duromine to me and told me to see her in a months time. Throughout the month of December (2014) I was taking duromine. I didn't feel any heavy side-effects like people described on the internet but did notice the dry mouth and not long after I noticed I didn't feel as though I needed to eat anything further after I'd had a meal. Even a small meal was enough. I didn't exercise at all that month. When I saw her in January 20th she told me I'd lost 11 kgs. I'm on my second month and I'm hoping that this can continue because I know the first lot of weight to lose is always the easiest. It's a bit more difficult for me at the moment because I'm not at home but staying with my auntie in Australia. Her eating habits aren't as good as what I would have at home but I'm still trying to be mindful etc etc. I find myself thinking that the pill is wearing off and isn't working. I can't tell whether that's just all the temptation in this place or not.
Well that's my essay haha!
I shall write again after my next doctors visit.
Well that's my essay haha!
I shall write again after my next doctors visit.
