well day nine! so yesterday was a little bit frustrating but I went to bed telling myself that habbits don't change overnight and I cannot beat myself up over a few rice crackers-
so anyway I have found taking my pill a little later in the morning works better for me, unlike may others I don't tend to have any problems sleeping so I find having it around 9-9:30am holds off the night hunger just a little bit-although to be perfectly honest I don't think it ever has held off my hunger after the afternoon..
anyway had a very busy morning and somehow against everything I stand for I missed breakfast-by lunchtime I was starving and had a chicken wrap with lots of salad-yummo-it was nice and big and that filled me right up-dinner was a piece of fish and some salad...handful of grapes and half and apple-I have promised myself that's it for today!
after last nigt I felt so ill I don't want to do that again.
I know that my eating habbits have developed over the years and certainly came on around 13/14 when my mum walked out on us-I was left to cook/clean and take care of my dad and brother,my dad was a truck driver and home 3 nights a week and my brother who was already 18 had his own life,i ended up being alone a lot of the timeand food was always there to keep me company,soon I was using it everytime I got sad/lonely or emotional...when I was 18 I fell in with the wrong crowd and developed a mild drug habbit-even though I was very athletic,sport was a huge part of my childhood-I was always a bigger girl-I was fitter then all my "skinny" friends and very strong but still was never the skinny girl-80kgs was my weight and I just delt with it-however once I started to use drugs (speed) and go out clubbing and dancing for 6 hours straight 2/3 nights a week I was down to 55kgs in 6months-i cannot imagine what my poor dad thought but at that stage in my life I didn't care-funny thing is even though I was skinny I never thought about it or looked at myself I was caught up in other things-funny how I had always wanted to look that way but one there was miserable...anyway it didn't take long for my common sense to kick in and I left that life behind me....I always had physical jobs and enjoy that sort of "real" work but the weight creeped back on slowly back to my 80kg..i wa this weight when I met me now husband and had our fist child-beig 175cm tall 80kg didn't make me extremely overweight so I wasn't that worried-however a bought of depression and a revisit of some issues saw my weight balloon,once I became a mum I realized how angry and upset I was with my own..anyway I have come to accept myself and the things that have happened in my life and emotionally/mentally am pretty much fine-it was just that dreded food addiction that stuck around
......but that was then and this is now,i don't want to keep thinking I have time and ill do it next week or next year I want my life back now-!!! I want to shop and buy clothes I really want to wear and not be the at friend..
I think owning why you developed your eating habbits is a key in fixing your eating habbits,if you don't fix your head you wont fix your body....
mind body spirit are all connected and I am going to start taking better care of all 3
until tomorrow..day 10!
so anyway I have found taking my pill a little later in the morning works better for me, unlike may others I don't tend to have any problems sleeping so I find having it around 9-9:30am holds off the night hunger just a little bit-although to be perfectly honest I don't think it ever has held off my hunger after the afternoon..
anyway had a very busy morning and somehow against everything I stand for I missed breakfast-by lunchtime I was starving and had a chicken wrap with lots of salad-yummo-it was nice and big and that filled me right up-dinner was a piece of fish and some salad...handful of grapes and half and apple-I have promised myself that's it for today!
after last nigt I felt so ill I don't want to do that again.
I know that my eating habbits have developed over the years and certainly came on around 13/14 when my mum walked out on us-I was left to cook/clean and take care of my dad and brother,my dad was a truck driver and home 3 nights a week and my brother who was already 18 had his own life,i ended up being alone a lot of the timeand food was always there to keep me company,soon I was using it everytime I got sad/lonely or emotional...when I was 18 I fell in with the wrong crowd and developed a mild drug habbit-even though I was very athletic,sport was a huge part of my childhood-I was always a bigger girl-I was fitter then all my "skinny" friends and very strong but still was never the skinny girl-80kgs was my weight and I just delt with it-however once I started to use drugs (speed) and go out clubbing and dancing for 6 hours straight 2/3 nights a week I was down to 55kgs in 6months-i cannot imagine what my poor dad thought but at that stage in my life I didn't care-funny thing is even though I was skinny I never thought about it or looked at myself I was caught up in other things-funny how I had always wanted to look that way but one there was miserable...anyway it didn't take long for my common sense to kick in and I left that life behind me....I always had physical jobs and enjoy that sort of "real" work but the weight creeped back on slowly back to my 80kg..i wa this weight when I met me now husband and had our fist child-beig 175cm tall 80kg didn't make me extremely overweight so I wasn't that worried-however a bought of depression and a revisit of some issues saw my weight balloon,once I became a mum I realized how angry and upset I was with my own..anyway I have come to accept myself and the things that have happened in my life and emotionally/mentally am pretty much fine-it was just that dreded food addiction that stuck around
......but that was then and this is now,i don't want to keep thinking I have time and ill do it next week or next year I want my life back now-!!! I want to shop and buy clothes I really want to wear and not be the at friend..I think owning why you developed your eating habbits is a key in fixing your eating habbits,if you don't fix your head you wont fix your body....
mind body spirit are all connected and I am going to start taking better care of all 3
until tomorrow..day 10!
