So I'm just going to give you all a little background on my weight over the years. And it'll probably be a good motivator for me to write out anywhooo
**drum roll for long blog post, proceed at your own risk**
Okay, so I'm 24 now
Back 10 years ago when I was 14 I did a pretty stupid thing. I ranaway from home and broke my beautiful mums heart (a regret I'll have everyday )
I ran away to be with the so called love of my life because he told me "if you don't move in with me I'm breaking up with you" so being my little 14 year old self I listened. (I see 14 year olds now and can never imagine them doing what I did because theyre so young! But that was me then, I thought I was mature)
Anyway, I moved in with him. It broke my mums heart as I have always been her girl. It was unexpected. She asked me to come home and then said if this was my decision she would help me if I liked so I could learn for myself. (learn from my mistakes)
Flash forward 3 and a half years and my mum thinks everything is great. I'm happy. She's moved 4 hours away and I'm still in the small town living with my mistake of a boyfriend.
In the nearly 4 years I was with him, he beat me nearly everyday.
Always for reasons I can't even remember. Stuff like this (girls will understand this one) if I had brushed my hair and loose strands had fallen on the floor and I HADNT picked them up. I would be punched/choked/kicked.
If I had washed the dishes, dried them, put them away and the tea towel had left fluff on anything and I gave him a coffee or cooked dinner and handed it to him and he seen tea towel fluff I'd be thrown to the floor and punched repeatedly. Anything like that.
**before you think to yourself 'why didn't she leave' remember I was 14 when I left home, it was one of my most serious relationships. I didn't know right from wrong and I thought this was what things were like and you had to be someone pretty damn special to not get treated this way. My mum and little sister had moved 3 hours away, I wasn't allowed a phone or things like facebook or Myspace back then so I couldn't contact them. My dad has always lived further away. Any visits they had with me if I was allowed to let them in I was too frightened to say anything. Or it bad been a really good day and I thought things would stay that way. I was still a child.**
✨ If you're still reading my entry than thank you! It really feels good to be able to write stuff like this out. And yes I'm getting back into the weight thing now!
So, in those nearly 4 years of physical and emotional abuse, as you could imagine stress had taken my weight off me. I was in and out of hospital every couple of months because I would just start spewing and not be able to stop so I'd be on a drip for a couple of days to rehydrate me. Doctors thought I was bulimic and didn't think anymore. I stopped going to school half way through year 11 because my uniform was falling off me and teachers were asking questions as to why I had an old extension cord wrapped around my waist to hold my skirt up
I remember the doctors carrying me to the scales and putting me down and saying "shit she's only 45kg"
I was tiny.
But I still thought and seen myself as fat because HE would tell me that everyday, it was brainwashed into me.
RIGHT so when I was 18 and 4 months I left! The police helped me while my now ex cried like a blubbering piece of pathetic shit begging me to stay.
And guess what! I bent down to his level and laughed in his face and said I'm NEVER coming back. Boy didn't that feel great!!
My mum, my beautiful mum, came and picked me, the little of my belongings and my 4 cats up.
3 months of freedom and BOOM I'd doubled my weight. I was 80kg and that's where my Duromine story starts.
** If you're still reading, you're amazing and of course thank you for listening to some poor girls story!
Okay so first time on Duromine 30mg was nearly 4 years ago now, (where I've just finished off my story) I had lost 13kg in 6 weeks!
I never got my 3rd months supply because money was short as I'd lost my job.
Then when I was going to organize with my doctor to start again a year later, I found out my partner (MY BEAUTIFUL AMAZING KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR) And I were having a baby!
Best day of my life
So obviously there wasn't a way to take Duromine while pregnant, I'd never even thought about it, my little unborn girl was all that mattered! Full term with my cherub I got to 98kg (thats including belly fruit ) and that is A LOTTT for someone of my size! 158cm.
Thankfully after our cesarean (I can't have a natural birth ) just from breastfeeding and my body adjusting itself back to normal plus walking everyday when I was able to, I went down to 71kg! And I was 79kg before our pregnancy so I lost an extra 7kg!!
I was so happy! But of course mum life took over and I was slowly gaining weight. I wasn't walking as much as I used to and I'm sure as some of you may know at the start of your little ones life take away and packet foods are like lifesavers, you don't even feel like cooking a great meal when there's just so much more to do!
I eventually reached 88kg.
I was so damn upset with myself for letting myself go AGAIN and everytime I remembered my BMI it made me feel worse. I should be within 56kg to 65kg and here I am 20kg more!!
I wanted so bad to just find and easy fix. To blink my eyes and be like woo I'm 60kg yay me! But theres no such thing. And I couldn't just jump back onto Duromine because I was breastfeeding, and that ALWAYS came first, my daughter and her needs.
Anyway, fast forward 18 months and my daughter is a little runner so I can take her out with me instead of in the pram we can walk and run together!
December 2016 I was like this is it.
I can't wait for an overnight miracle.
And I started exercising everyday!
My motivation was FINALLY growing!
I had a reason and it wasn't just for me, I wanted Aria (our daughter) to look back at photos of us and see how her muma changed to be a better, healthier person and mother.
In 5 months I lost 8kg!
I was down to 80kg and I knew my hard work was paying off! But of course I stopped my hardcore exercising everyday. BUT i haven't gained it back! I watch what I eat more and more and my portions and small. And thankfully I have never been a soft drink/soda person so I didn't need to worry about giving that up!
Okay so now we're in June 2017 and my beautiful little girl has just turned two! The same week she had weaned herself off the breast. (It was reaaaally emotional!) and that's when I was like hey! I can start Duromine again!
** My next blog entry will be about my start and how I'm going so far!
If you've read this, and came this far then thank you for taking the time to do so! If any of you have any questions at all feel free to comment!
Heres a photo of just after having my daughter and then when my body reached 71kg (nearly 2 years ago now)
I don't have any photos of my time as a sickly skinny person.
**drum roll for long blog post, proceed at your own risk**
Okay, so I'm 24 now
Back 10 years ago when I was 14 I did a pretty stupid thing. I ranaway from home and broke my beautiful mums heart (a regret I'll have everyday )
I ran away to be with the so called love of my life because he told me "if you don't move in with me I'm breaking up with you" so being my little 14 year old self I listened. (I see 14 year olds now and can never imagine them doing what I did because theyre so young! But that was me then, I thought I was mature)
Anyway, I moved in with him. It broke my mums heart as I have always been her girl. It was unexpected. She asked me to come home and then said if this was my decision she would help me if I liked so I could learn for myself. (learn from my mistakes)
Flash forward 3 and a half years and my mum thinks everything is great. I'm happy. She's moved 4 hours away and I'm still in the small town living with my mistake of a boyfriend.
In the nearly 4 years I was with him, he beat me nearly everyday.
Always for reasons I can't even remember. Stuff like this (girls will understand this one) if I had brushed my hair and loose strands had fallen on the floor and I HADNT picked them up. I would be punched/choked/kicked.
If I had washed the dishes, dried them, put them away and the tea towel had left fluff on anything and I gave him a coffee or cooked dinner and handed it to him and he seen tea towel fluff I'd be thrown to the floor and punched repeatedly. Anything like that.
**before you think to yourself 'why didn't she leave' remember I was 14 when I left home, it was one of my most serious relationships. I didn't know right from wrong and I thought this was what things were like and you had to be someone pretty damn special to not get treated this way. My mum and little sister had moved 3 hours away, I wasn't allowed a phone or things like facebook or Myspace back then so I couldn't contact them. My dad has always lived further away. Any visits they had with me if I was allowed to let them in I was too frightened to say anything. Or it bad been a really good day and I thought things would stay that way. I was still a child.**
✨ If you're still reading my entry than thank you! It really feels good to be able to write stuff like this out. And yes I'm getting back into the weight thing now!
So, in those nearly 4 years of physical and emotional abuse, as you could imagine stress had taken my weight off me. I was in and out of hospital every couple of months because I would just start spewing and not be able to stop so I'd be on a drip for a couple of days to rehydrate me. Doctors thought I was bulimic and didn't think anymore. I stopped going to school half way through year 11 because my uniform was falling off me and teachers were asking questions as to why I had an old extension cord wrapped around my waist to hold my skirt up
I remember the doctors carrying me to the scales and putting me down and saying "shit she's only 45kg"
I was tiny.
But I still thought and seen myself as fat because HE would tell me that everyday, it was brainwashed into me.
RIGHT so when I was 18 and 4 months I left! The police helped me while my now ex cried like a blubbering piece of pathetic shit begging me to stay.
And guess what! I bent down to his level and laughed in his face and said I'm NEVER coming back. Boy didn't that feel great!!
My mum, my beautiful mum, came and picked me, the little of my belongings and my 4 cats up.
3 months of freedom and BOOM I'd doubled my weight. I was 80kg and that's where my Duromine story starts.
** If you're still reading, you're amazing and of course thank you for listening to some poor girls story!
Okay so first time on Duromine 30mg was nearly 4 years ago now, (where I've just finished off my story) I had lost 13kg in 6 weeks!
I never got my 3rd months supply because money was short as I'd lost my job.
Then when I was going to organize with my doctor to start again a year later, I found out my partner (MY BEAUTIFUL AMAZING KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR) And I were having a baby!
Best day of my life
So obviously there wasn't a way to take Duromine while pregnant, I'd never even thought about it, my little unborn girl was all that mattered! Full term with my cherub I got to 98kg (thats including belly fruit ) and that is A LOTTT for someone of my size! 158cm.
Thankfully after our cesarean (I can't have a natural birth ) just from breastfeeding and my body adjusting itself back to normal plus walking everyday when I was able to, I went down to 71kg! And I was 79kg before our pregnancy so I lost an extra 7kg!!
I was so happy! But of course mum life took over and I was slowly gaining weight. I wasn't walking as much as I used to and I'm sure as some of you may know at the start of your little ones life take away and packet foods are like lifesavers, you don't even feel like cooking a great meal when there's just so much more to do!
I eventually reached 88kg.
I was so damn upset with myself for letting myself go AGAIN and everytime I remembered my BMI it made me feel worse. I should be within 56kg to 65kg and here I am 20kg more!!
I wanted so bad to just find and easy fix. To blink my eyes and be like woo I'm 60kg yay me! But theres no such thing. And I couldn't just jump back onto Duromine because I was breastfeeding, and that ALWAYS came first, my daughter and her needs.
Anyway, fast forward 18 months and my daughter is a little runner so I can take her out with me instead of in the pram we can walk and run together!
December 2016 I was like this is it.
I can't wait for an overnight miracle.
And I started exercising everyday!
My motivation was FINALLY growing!
I had a reason and it wasn't just for me, I wanted Aria (our daughter) to look back at photos of us and see how her muma changed to be a better, healthier person and mother.
In 5 months I lost 8kg!
I was down to 80kg and I knew my hard work was paying off! But of course I stopped my hardcore exercising everyday. BUT i haven't gained it back! I watch what I eat more and more and my portions and small. And thankfully I have never been a soft drink/soda person so I didn't need to worry about giving that up!
Okay so now we're in June 2017 and my beautiful little girl has just turned two! The same week she had weaned herself off the breast. (It was reaaaally emotional!) and that's when I was like hey! I can start Duromine again!
** My next blog entry will be about my start and how I'm going so far!
If you've read this, and came this far then thank you for taking the time to do so! If any of you have any questions at all feel free to comment!
Heres a photo of just after having my daughter and then when my body reached 71kg (nearly 2 years ago now)
I don't have any photos of my time as a sickly skinny person.
