Day thirty two on Duramine (metermine) 40mgs-
Today started well enough, took tablet waited half an hour or so and made a tuna salad for breakfast. Tuna, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, cheese, avocado and a pickled onion.. Yea i really didn't think that through
i was just going- i like that, i want that, oooh that looks nice and not really considering the folly of mixing ingredients that wouldn't mix well. It still tasted ok, i just ate it in layers individually. Not really my brightest moment though.
Started dancing as soon as my stomach settled and did the same dances as yesterday for 2 hours. Yesterday i was determined to work through my knee pain but i wasn't really motivated. As i was able to substitute leg movements fairly flawlessly in order to attain a light impact workout, in spite of the fact that i can't say i enjoyed every second or perhaps because of it and still managing to complete the 2 hours as was my goal, i was actually looking forward to doing the dancing today and was feeling really positive and motivated. I didn't lift my legs any higher or move any quicker but i must have made my movements more exaggerated or put more effort into them or something as i was sweating worse than i had by the end of yesterdays dance about 4 songs in- it was awesome i love when i achieve that feeling when i dance or skip or run or do anything i guess. Feel involved, silly as that sounds as if you are participating of course you are involved just into it and energetic i guess.
After lunch, i had an orange, i decided to go for a walk because it looked reasonably nice out for a change. 1.5 hours later i was rapt as i have now found a route i am determined to walk daily- it wont perhaps take quite as long in future as i will do it without my son in the wee hours, or as i spied a set of stairs i plan on getting up and down a few times mid walk perhaps it will. We walked at as brisk a pace as i was able to set without hearing 'Muuuuuuuum! You are too fast!' not a comment that i ever thought i was likely to hear and by the end i was a little short of breath but really happy that i had gone.
I had this whole epiphany about my diet and the meal replacement shakes and how if i cooked dinner meals and left my portion for breakfast the next day and started eating er drinking the shake for dinner that i would teach my body to consume less in the evenings and more at the start of each day as the pattern i keep following leads me to eat very minute amounts during the day and then over eating at night- even if it is no longer after dinner but now leading up to it. I was rather proud and impressed with myself until dinner (lamb roast) took longer cooking than expected and lil man wanted something immediately and i got him a snack and then ate 3 pickled onions, a polski ogorki, 2 cherry tomatoes and two craft singles slices of cheese. My lack of will power shot me in the foot (or perhaps more aptly the stomach) again. I decided to forego the shake for tea to even things out but when i took out the plates for tea and started serving the meal, i plated up my dessert plate as usual.. I ate 3 slices of lamb and a helping of peas and gravy and then i snuck a potato too.
Pretty devastated by my utter lack of control and quite worried about my ability to keep the 9kgs i have lost off, particularly after i cease taking the medication. The bickering voices in my head alternate between reassuring me that i don't eat take away and most of what i eat is relatively ok or at least not too high in carbs and damning me for failing time and time again. I have hung every last hope and chance on the duramine helping me to lose weight but the key word there is helping, if i can't get it strait nothing is EVER going to change. A day of highs and lows.. Need to remind myself that however many mistakes i am making i am still trying i guess and everyday i will just try a little harder. Will be getting up at 6am to go for my walk tomorrow morning and will ensure i do the 2 hours dancing too, just need to try and eat less. Just lol.
Today started well enough, took tablet waited half an hour or so and made a tuna salad for breakfast. Tuna, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, cheese, avocado and a pickled onion.. Yea i really didn't think that through
i was just going- i like that, i want that, oooh that looks nice and not really considering the folly of mixing ingredients that wouldn't mix well. It still tasted ok, i just ate it in layers individually. Not really my brightest moment though.Started dancing as soon as my stomach settled and did the same dances as yesterday for 2 hours. Yesterday i was determined to work through my knee pain but i wasn't really motivated. As i was able to substitute leg movements fairly flawlessly in order to attain a light impact workout, in spite of the fact that i can't say i enjoyed every second or perhaps because of it and still managing to complete the 2 hours as was my goal, i was actually looking forward to doing the dancing today and was feeling really positive and motivated. I didn't lift my legs any higher or move any quicker but i must have made my movements more exaggerated or put more effort into them or something as i was sweating worse than i had by the end of yesterdays dance about 4 songs in- it was awesome
i love when i achieve that feeling when i dance or skip or run or do anything i guess. Feel involved, silly as that sounds as if you are participating of course you are involved just into it and energetic i guess.After lunch, i had an orange, i decided to go for a walk because it looked reasonably nice out for a change. 1.5 hours later i was rapt as i have now found a route i am determined to walk daily- it wont perhaps take quite as long in future as i will do it without my son in the wee hours, or as i spied a set of stairs i plan on getting up and down a few times mid walk perhaps it will. We walked at as brisk a pace as i was able to set without hearing 'Muuuuuuuum! You are too fast!' not a comment that i ever thought i was likely to hear
and by the end i was a little short of breath but really happy that i had gone.I had this whole epiphany about my diet and the meal replacement shakes and how if i cooked dinner meals and left my portion for breakfast the next day and started eating er drinking the shake for dinner that i would teach my body to consume less in the evenings and more at the start of each day as the pattern i keep following leads me to eat very minute amounts during the day and then over eating at night- even if it is no longer after dinner but now leading up to it. I was rather proud and impressed with myself until dinner (lamb roast) took longer cooking than expected and lil man wanted something immediately and i got him a snack and then ate 3 pickled onions, a polski ogorki, 2 cherry tomatoes and two craft singles slices of cheese
. My lack of will power shot me in the foot (or perhaps more aptly the stomach) again. I decided to forego the shake for tea to even things out but when i took out the plates for tea and started serving the meal, i plated up my dessert plate as usual.. I ate 3 slices of lamb and a helping of peas and gravy and then i snuck a potato too.Pretty devastated by my utter lack of control and quite worried about my ability to keep the 9kgs i have lost off, particularly after i cease taking the medication. The bickering voices in my head alternate between reassuring me that i don't eat take away and most of what i eat is relatively ok or at least not too high in carbs and damning me for failing time and time again. I have hung every last hope and chance on the duramine helping me to lose weight but the key word there is helping, if i can't get it strait nothing is EVER going to change. A day of highs and lows.. Need to remind myself that however many mistakes i am making i am still trying i guess and everyday i will just try a little harder. Will be getting up at 6am to go for my walk tomorrow morning and will ensure i do the 2 hours dancing too, just need to try and eat less. Just lol.
