Realised I was putting my thoughts on my introduction post so think best I put it on a blog. Its really just a desperate attempt to make me accountable for my own actions lol
I remembered today the terrible 'nickname' my father used to call me "Fatty". God I hated that, but not as much as the abuse he dished out from when I was 9 to 15. Funnily enough I was slim until then. A counsellor would probably say I ate to make myself less attractive. Yep probably. But that was a long time ago now. Im 40 now so I need to get it sorted.
Ive tried optifast and other shake diets, always seem to end up vomiting it and then avoiding drinking it so just skipping meals till I am too weak. Sureslim - the plan of eating breaky then nothing for 5 hours then lunch nothing for 5 hours I found too hard! I broke it within days. Also the flaxseed and olive oil - yuk! They said just drink it down. Gross (no offence if you enjoy this - more power to you) When I went to the follow ups there was a lady who was very large (considerably larger than me) who berated me for eating a piece of fruit inbetween, she would tell me she had been on the plan for a long time and she could stick to it so why couldn't I? Yes I know I should have been happy that it was a large person preaching rather than someone who had never been overweight but somehow it really made me question - if you have been on this for a long period of time and are still this size what hope do I have? Bad I know, but I'm being honest (please don't take offence if anyone does happen to read this, I don't intend that, ignore my post and jog along
)
I have the best of intentions every time I try to eat healthy but I just love food way too much. I know at my BMI it is probably classified that I have a mental health problem to eat that much but honestly Im not mad, sad or crazy. I just see something and think yum going to eat that one, maybe two, three would be better lol
I find it is impossible to find a good GP, are family GPs all gone? It seems its all big medical practices with everything you need in one spot - which is great BUT I find just as a I build a rapport with one GP they leave, never to be seen again. Do these place pay the GPs poorly so they move along? Not sure. Ive had various health issues and I undoubtedly get told its all just because I am fat. Yes I get it, I am fat, I do have a mirror. I feel I have to beg them to look past that as obesity cant possibly be the case of everything, but I am sure plenty would tell me I am wrong. One example 2 years ago I was really run down, pain in my side, extreme fatigue. Its because you are fat, yep but I have been fat for years why all of a sudden this sudden downturn due to being 'fat' when I have not gotten any fatter, infact I have lost a bit of weight without trying? Anyway long story short eventually found I had a tennis ball sized tumour on my adrenal gland needed to be removed asap (benign thankfully)
Anyway I digress, I have PCOS both ovaries covered in many small cysts. I take metformin to help with insulin resistance, spironolactone for fluid retention and its said to help with excess hair growth (doesnt seem to help with that in my opinion if any PCOS girls read this and are interested) So the new medical centre after I moved, I have pain in my finger joint and rash on my neck - yep its because you are fat. I said to the Doctor please, I know I am fat, but always dismissing on that? Really? She said well people dont like their Doctor saying to them they are fat they get offended but the reality is they are and they just dont see it so they need a Doctor to shock them. Ok I accept that, but I am not offended you are calling me out on being fat I KNOW I am, but maybe help me do something about it.
So she gave me a script for Duromine 30mg. Suggested if I can't tolerate it / don't stick to it she could refer me for bariatric surgery. Great, I'm going to do my best. So here begins the journey
Height 160cm
BMI 46.9
Weight 120kg
Start date 23/3/2017
I remembered today the terrible 'nickname' my father used to call me "Fatty". God I hated that, but not as much as the abuse he dished out from when I was 9 to 15. Funnily enough I was slim until then. A counsellor would probably say I ate to make myself less attractive. Yep probably. But that was a long time ago now. Im 40 now so I need to get it sorted.
Ive tried optifast and other shake diets, always seem to end up vomiting it and then avoiding drinking it so just skipping meals till I am too weak. Sureslim - the plan of eating breaky then nothing for 5 hours then lunch nothing for 5 hours I found too hard! I broke it within days. Also the flaxseed and olive oil - yuk! They said just drink it down. Gross (no offence if you enjoy this - more power to you) When I went to the follow ups there was a lady who was very large (considerably larger than me) who berated me for eating a piece of fruit inbetween, she would tell me she had been on the plan for a long time and she could stick to it so why couldn't I? Yes I know I should have been happy that it was a large person preaching rather than someone who had never been overweight but somehow it really made me question - if you have been on this for a long period of time and are still this size what hope do I have? Bad I know, but I'm being honest (please don't take offence if anyone does happen to read this, I don't intend that, ignore my post and jog along
)I have the best of intentions every time I try to eat healthy but I just love food way too much. I know at my BMI it is probably classified that I have a mental health problem to eat that much but honestly Im not mad, sad or crazy. I just see something and think yum going to eat that one, maybe two, three would be better lol
I find it is impossible to find a good GP, are family GPs all gone? It seems its all big medical practices with everything you need in one spot - which is great BUT I find just as a I build a rapport with one GP they leave, never to be seen again. Do these place pay the GPs poorly so they move along? Not sure. Ive had various health issues and I undoubtedly get told its all just because I am fat. Yes I get it, I am fat, I do have a mirror. I feel I have to beg them to look past that as obesity cant possibly be the case of everything, but I am sure plenty would tell me I am wrong. One example 2 years ago I was really run down, pain in my side, extreme fatigue. Its because you are fat, yep but I have been fat for years why all of a sudden this sudden downturn due to being 'fat' when I have not gotten any fatter, infact I have lost a bit of weight without trying? Anyway long story short eventually found I had a tennis ball sized tumour on my adrenal gland needed to be removed asap (benign thankfully)
Anyway I digress, I have PCOS both ovaries covered in many small cysts. I take metformin to help with insulin resistance, spironolactone for fluid retention and its said to help with excess hair growth (doesnt seem to help with that in my opinion if any PCOS girls read this and are interested) So the new medical centre after I moved, I have pain in my finger joint and rash on my neck - yep its because you are fat. I said to the Doctor please, I know I am fat, but always dismissing on that? Really? She said well people dont like their Doctor saying to them they are fat they get offended but the reality is they are and they just dont see it so they need a Doctor to shock them. Ok I accept that, but I am not offended you are calling me out on being fat I KNOW I am, but maybe help me do something about it.
So she gave me a script for Duromine 30mg. Suggested if I can't tolerate it / don't stick to it she could refer me for bariatric surgery. Great, I'm going to do my best. So here begins the journey
Height 160cm
BMI 46.9
Weight 120kg
Start date 23/3/2017
