Im writing this for me (and anyone else who can relate) for encouragement and accountability.
Everyone has a story to tell....
This is mine.
At school I was a healthy active teenager. At University I was a healthy active young adult. Half way through my degree I was diagnosed with depression. The next 9 years was spent on every antidepressant combination New Zealand had available, countless pyscologist, doctors, psychiatrists, hospitals, dropping out of uni, going back to try again only to repeatedly drop out again. The sense of failure made matters worse to the point I became agoraphobic and wouldn't leave the house. I couldn't work. Didnt want to see friends. And then I found food. Alot of food. In a very short period of I weighed 106 kg and didn't care about anything. On a random act of insanity I decided to go bungy jumping. For those if you who don't know, they weigh you and write your weight on your hand. It was when I walked up to the jump preparation platform and showed the staff my hand and one of them yelled out "we've got a heavy" that I realised how much I had let myself go. Something had to change! I started going to Weight Watcher's and over a period of almost a year I lost 40 kilos. I was still suffering from chronic depression and seeing my doctors and therapists but I got some of my confidence back. I went back to uni and got my degree. The sense of pride overwhelmed me. I had lost the weight and completed my degree. Now to do something about my depression that had crippled the last 9 years of my life. The anti-depressants hadnt worked for me so I wanted off them. It was a lot more involved than that but in a nut shell, I got off my meds, packed a suitcase, jumped on a plane and flew to Australia. I picked Melbourne because know one knew me. Know one knew of my years of mental illness. I could reinvent myself and become the woman I always wanted to be but never thought posible.
I got a job in banking (completely NOT what my degree was in) as a mail clerk handing out the daily mail and over the next 5 year worked my way up to a senior manager at one of the Big 4 Banks. Life was good. I loved Melbourne, I had an amazing job in the CBD earning good money, I physically looked Fantastic, lived in a beautiful apartment in the inner city and walked to work everyday. Could things get any better? Yes. 3 years ago I met the love of my life. We decided to move in together down the coast by the beach. Big sea change for me, going from a 15 minute walk to work to having a 2 hour commute. But that was ok because I was happy.
Then things changed....
I found lumps in my foot and to cut a long 8 months of tests and hospitals story short. I needed 3 operations on my foot in May 2013. There were complications and the weeks of healing and recoving turned into months. I couldnt physically make the commute into the city and with all the heavy pain meds I was on I couldnt even work from home. I had no other choice but to resign in Jan 2015. (Yes, 1&1/2 years after the operation) After years of mental illness and fighting so hard to get out of it and succeed in life, I found myself once again house bound. I couldn't exercise because I couldn't walk. I couldn't do stuff because I was so doppy on pain relief. But I could eat! And I could drink. So I did.
So where am I now?
It's been a year now since I resigned and 2 &1/2 years since my operation. That's a lot of eating and drinking and im now back where I was all those years ago and too afraid to go anywhere because im embarrassed about what I look like and the darkness of depression is lurking around every corner. Enough is enough! I'm getting married in November and I'll be damn if I not going to be a beautiful bride!! Ive lost the weight once before. I'll do it again.
Who am I?
I'm a 36 year old female
Starting weight = 85.7kg
Height = 165 cm
Ive been on Duromine for 2 days now. I started on the 1st of Jan (because im one of those people who thinks im more motivated if i start something at the beginning of the week/month/year). Obviously, because its now almost 3am in the morning, I'm suffering from the 'not being able to sleep part' but that's ok with me.
I won't be writing about my past again, I just needed to write all the above for myself. To remind myself I'm a fighter and I can do it again. We only have 1 life and it's up to us on how we achieve that.
I am excited about my Duromine journey and equally excited and motivated by everyone elses.
Xx
Everyone has a story to tell....
This is mine.
At school I was a healthy active teenager. At University I was a healthy active young adult. Half way through my degree I was diagnosed with depression. The next 9 years was spent on every antidepressant combination New Zealand had available, countless pyscologist, doctors, psychiatrists, hospitals, dropping out of uni, going back to try again only to repeatedly drop out again. The sense of failure made matters worse to the point I became agoraphobic and wouldn't leave the house. I couldn't work. Didnt want to see friends. And then I found food. Alot of food. In a very short period of I weighed 106 kg and didn't care about anything. On a random act of insanity I decided to go bungy jumping. For those if you who don't know, they weigh you and write your weight on your hand. It was when I walked up to the jump preparation platform and showed the staff my hand and one of them yelled out "we've got a heavy" that I realised how much I had let myself go. Something had to change! I started going to Weight Watcher's and over a period of almost a year I lost 40 kilos. I was still suffering from chronic depression and seeing my doctors and therapists but I got some of my confidence back. I went back to uni and got my degree. The sense of pride overwhelmed me. I had lost the weight and completed my degree. Now to do something about my depression that had crippled the last 9 years of my life. The anti-depressants hadnt worked for me so I wanted off them. It was a lot more involved than that but in a nut shell, I got off my meds, packed a suitcase, jumped on a plane and flew to Australia. I picked Melbourne because know one knew me. Know one knew of my years of mental illness. I could reinvent myself and become the woman I always wanted to be but never thought posible.
I got a job in banking (completely NOT what my degree was in) as a mail clerk handing out the daily mail and over the next 5 year worked my way up to a senior manager at one of the Big 4 Banks. Life was good. I loved Melbourne, I had an amazing job in the CBD earning good money, I physically looked Fantastic, lived in a beautiful apartment in the inner city and walked to work everyday. Could things get any better? Yes. 3 years ago I met the love of my life. We decided to move in together down the coast by the beach. Big sea change for me, going from a 15 minute walk to work to having a 2 hour commute. But that was ok because I was happy.
Then things changed....
I found lumps in my foot and to cut a long 8 months of tests and hospitals story short. I needed 3 operations on my foot in May 2013. There were complications and the weeks of healing and recoving turned into months. I couldnt physically make the commute into the city and with all the heavy pain meds I was on I couldnt even work from home. I had no other choice but to resign in Jan 2015. (Yes, 1&1/2 years after the operation) After years of mental illness and fighting so hard to get out of it and succeed in life, I found myself once again house bound. I couldn't exercise because I couldn't walk. I couldn't do stuff because I was so doppy on pain relief. But I could eat! And I could drink. So I did.
So where am I now?
It's been a year now since I resigned and 2 &1/2 years since my operation. That's a lot of eating and drinking and im now back where I was all those years ago and too afraid to go anywhere because im embarrassed about what I look like and the darkness of depression is lurking around every corner. Enough is enough! I'm getting married in November and I'll be damn if I not going to be a beautiful bride!! Ive lost the weight once before. I'll do it again.
Who am I?
I'm a 36 year old female
Starting weight = 85.7kg
Height = 165 cm
Ive been on Duromine for 2 days now. I started on the 1st of Jan (because im one of those people who thinks im more motivated if i start something at the beginning of the week/month/year). Obviously, because its now almost 3am in the morning, I'm suffering from the 'not being able to sleep part' but that's ok with me.
I won't be writing about my past again, I just needed to write all the above for myself. To remind myself I'm a fighter and I can do it again. We only have 1 life and it's up to us on how we achieve that.
I am excited about my Duromine journey and equally excited and motivated by everyone elses.
Xx
