New Mind New Body - Day 1

Well how to start. Firstly I am blogging to make myself more accountable and am under the impression noone will read this which is perfectly fine by me. Im 26 years old 5'7 and unfortunantly have tipped the scales at an disgusting 105kgs. I understand for some this could be a goal weight so just to make sure I am clear this weight for myself is devostating and makes me disgusted in myself. Before anyone judges yes the weight I gained has come with the most important and blessed experiences of my life and not a single thing would ever make me change them. I have two beautiful sons aged 3 years old and just 10 months. If I have to live at this weight for the rest of my life or given the choice to go back and not have them Id choose this every time. My children are a huge reason not only behind the cause but also a speed bump along the way to my goal. Just 4 weeks after giving birth to my youngest in Nov 2015 I was diagnosed with a bladder prolapse that requires surgery. I was told it would result in a hystorectomy( terrible spelling, I apologize) and physical restrictions from no sex to no lifting anything over 5kgs until surgery. Well 9 months has past I have managed to loose just under 10kgs since giving birth by walking and calorie counting but here I am stuck, unable to participate in bootcamps, running, squating, lifting or really anything of use. I really didnt want to try duromine so went to my doctor armed with questions and was given a long list of options. I explained that I want to be fit and healthy so I live a long life where I can run and play with my sons. Teach them to play sports, ride bikes and horses, be proud of their appearance but take pride all at once. I dont want to die young and i certainly do not want to wait any longer for a surgery thats not even on the horizon yet due to waiting times to ensure our future is bright. So she suggested starting off on 30mg and I instantly declined, 30mg of whatd described as speed seemed excessive and confronting all at once. I have opted for a different approach. I will be taking 15mg duromines for a maximum of three months (personal wishes, would love to do less) and also following a recent diet; The 5:2 diet, or fast diet. A little info its a diet which stipulates calorie restriction for two non-consecutive days a week and unconstrained eating the other five days. But to add to the crazy challenge I will also only be have one meal a day and the others using meal replacement shakes(a lover of optifast). All this was approved by my doctor and pending results she is considering suggesting it to others.

So with all that being said. Today is day 1 i took my first tablet at 7.30am this morning and its currently 2.20pm. I am as tired as I have ever been with a headache from hell after having my aspergers nephew, my sons and a guest last night. We went to bed at 11pm and got up at 5am so no real shock. I have been told the headaches subside in a week or two so Im not taking any pain killers. So far today I have had an egg sandwhich and havnt been overly hungry. But in saying that hunger is never really my issue. I drink a lot of water as it is so I have also not been thirsty.

I have this huge urge to jump on the scales and look down to see a magic number. Im not dilusional I no nothing worthing having happens over night hence the extra dieting. But i desperatly want to be atleast 80kgs. Thats still 10kgs more than before falling pregnant 4 years ago but Im happy with that.

My hips, stretch marks, not so perky breast and black lady booty on a white body as my hubby calls it can all stay.

I will try to blog every day as I said accountability is what Im doing. No lies to myself or others. This is for my sons, my husband and me. Lets grow old together and enjoy every moment.

"I've got this" and you,you who maybe reading this you have this too.

New mind set nee body