Day four on Duramine (metermine) 40mgs-
Slept in until 7.30am this morning.. Bit dubious regarding my bodies reaction to the duramine as most people note a decreased ability to sleep and every night i get a few hours more (4 hours, 6 hours, 8 hours). I may even be sleeping BETTER and less interrupted than previously as i don't wake up to pee at 2am anymore. I suppose i am glad I'm sleeping, just a little disgruntled because i was ok with the idea of having some me time to study or relax sans 4 year old or just twiddle my thumbs
and i cant help but worry that if i am not responding the way i expected i.e still sleeping well, getting hungry, not really getting any influx of energy or a dry mouth etc etc etc that maybe its not working.. because I'm not normal doodoodoodoo doodoo the truth is out there ok so not so much cause i have abnormal freak DNA, though anything is possible i suppose, but probably just because i worry and over analyse things over and over and over until they are unrecognisable. I mean i have noticed some changes and while im still craving foods and dreaming about them in near orgasmic bliss i HAVE refrained from eating after tea and from having large meals and portion control has always been a massive problem of mine. Maybe my appetite is actually being suppressed but its the mental desires i am struggling with and i am unable to tell the difference.. Or maybe my dad got to me the other night when he pointed out that while it doesn't happen often there are amphetamine users who don't fit the bill because they are quite rotund and there is no guarantee that this is going to work.. I love him to bits and he tries to be helpful, he's very intelligent, realistic and pragmatic and tries to prevent us from getting our hopes up and then dashed but his 'advice' is quite often cynical and negative (because it's the opposite of what i want ) and can often make you feel like giving up before you start. Maybe i just need to drink down a bucket of cement and harden the f@#k up. Moving right along..
The doctor i first visited and asked about the duromine, after having a melt down over losing only 3kgs in two months, flatly refused to write me a script. He told me he never prescribes the drug as he disagrees with it and asked me to respect his personal beliefs and not think harshly of him. Normally i would have nodded, apologised and left but i had recently realised that if things didn't change drastically and rapidly i would die, no more watching my boy grow up, no more making decisions for him and his life and knowing the person who was deciding things for him had purely his best interests at heart, no more sugar coating it, no more ifs buts or maybes it was a fact and i told the doctor that, he then tried to persuade me that all i needed to do was join weight watchers and count calories and as i pointed out that was how i had lost the 3kgs.. It was too little, taking too long. At this point he told me he would book me in to see another doctor in the surgery, one who wouldn't have the same ethical dilemma as him, and would definitely prescribe me the duromine. I didn't believe that i would get the script, not for a second. The next day when i saw the 'other' doctor he said yes, immediately, That was when i found out, after stepping on the scales, that i had been 144kgs when i last visited the surgery a year ago. Suddenly 3kgs in 2 months became 11kgs over 12 months which was still not enough but it put things into perspective a little. The 3kgs was no longer a fluke that i was kind of scared to believe in, now it was apparent that the changes i had implemented into my life style were actually doing something. Not enough but a start. Annnnnyway i did have a point i was getting at i digress.. The 'other' doctor, after agreeing to write me out the script, told me to give up the carbs or nothing would change. He then proceeded to tell me a story about a male patient he had helped who used to weigh 150kgs and changed his weight completely by dropping carbs entirely. Apparently he would walk to coles daily and buy a roast chook, then that was all he ate for the day. breakfast, lunch, dinner. The doctor went on to describe how the weight literally melted off him and how, while he wasn't suggesting i ate nothing but chicken, (which was good because i would have gone clucky) it was a very effective way to lose weight. I swear he was 3 heartbeats away from giving me a handful of chicken coupons but then he also told me to eat as much cheese and eggs and meat as possible and when i queried the sat fat content with eating unlimited cheese and eggs he told me while its not good for your internal organs eating a reduced amount of sat fat and trans fat would not affect your weight at all.. Yeeeeeea i read conflicting reports on that soooo now I'm unsure of what the heck i should be eating, really.
This morning i had toast at about 8am and for tea at 5.30ish the boys had homestyle chicken burgers. I ate the chicken sliced up and wrapped in lettuce, forgoing the cheese as i've been eating it daily lately. I only drank 1 litre of water today and not until later in the afternoon as i had been drinking it mostly immediately after taking the duromine and read a post suggesting that if you drank large quantities of water all at once you would flush it out of your system. It sounded plausible so i thought i would experiment no change at all. Nothing. Zero zip nada. Perhaps in the interest of fully exhausting the theory or the reaction with my body as it were i should continue tomorrow in the possibility that the drug needs longer to build up in my system before i see any result but i don't really want to break the habit of drinking a lot of water. I suppose i could try to down 3 litres of water after 4pm tomorrow and maybe that would be enough time to prove or disprove to me that i may have inadvertently been flushing the duromine, at least partly, out of my system every morning.
I didn't do any dancing today or even go for a walk- i dedicated myself solely and wholly to cleaning my house. My darling 4yo boy dropped his scooter by the back sliding door and it fell directly into the glass and spider webbed right up. I get to call the organisation I'm leasing through tomorrow morning and explain that to them . Yaaaay. What a pleasant conversation that is going to be. Undoubtedly they will immediately schedule a house inspection to ensure we are not destroying the property one bit at a time. So i am a bit neat freak obsessed right now. On the plus side I'm not being inactive.
Probably the rest from dancing or moving in a totally uncoordinated way, as i do, is not a bad thing as i think jumping around yesterday i might have hurt my stomach. All the 'stab wounds' from the surgery have healed except for the one in my belly button. Trying to keep it dry and minimise the amount i bend over so it can heal and doesn't get infected. It has oozed some but I'm applying detol to it daily so it's clean. I really ought to go and have them checked as they said to book in a week post surgery but i really don't like going unless i have to and i figure i've got to go in 3 weeks to renew my script anyway so i'll just do it then..
Might set my alarm to ensure i was up early enough to take the duromine and get started on the day.
Every time you remove a negative from your life you make more room for positive.
Wooooooooooosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Slept in until 7.30am this morning.. Bit dubious regarding my bodies reaction to the duramine as most people note a decreased ability to sleep and every night i get a few hours more (4 hours, 6 hours, 8 hours). I may even be sleeping BETTER and less interrupted than previously as i don't wake up to pee at 2am anymore. I suppose i am glad I'm sleeping, just a little disgruntled because i was ok with the idea of having some me time to study or relax sans 4 year old or just twiddle my thumbs
and i cant help but worry that if i am not responding the way i expected i.e still sleeping well, getting hungry, not really getting any influx of energy or a dry mouth etc etc etc that maybe its not working.. because I'm not normal doodoodoodoo doodoo the truth is out there ok so not so much cause i have abnormal freak DNA, though anything is possible i suppose, but probably just because i worry and over analyse things over and over and over until they are unrecognisable. I mean i have noticed some changes and while im still craving foods and dreaming about them in near orgasmic bliss i HAVE refrained from eating after tea and from having large meals and portion control has always been a massive problem of mine. Maybe my appetite is actually being suppressed but its the mental desires i am struggling with and i am unable to tell the difference.. Or maybe my dad got to me the other night when he pointed out that while it doesn't happen often there are amphetamine users who don't fit the bill because they are quite rotund and there is no guarantee that this is going to work.. I love him to bits and he tries to be helpful, he's very intelligent, realistic and pragmatic and tries to prevent us from getting our hopes up and then dashed but his 'advice' is quite often cynical and negative (because it's the opposite of what i want ) and can often make you feel like giving up before you start. Maybe i just need to drink down a bucket of cement and harden the f@#k up. Moving right along.. The doctor i first visited and asked about the duromine, after having a melt down over losing only 3kgs in two months, flatly refused to write me a script. He told me he never prescribes the drug as he disagrees with it and asked me to respect his personal beliefs and not think harshly of him. Normally i would have nodded, apologised and left but i had recently realised that if things didn't change drastically and rapidly i would die, no more watching my boy grow up, no more making decisions for him and his life and knowing the person who was deciding things for him had purely his best interests at heart, no more sugar coating it, no more ifs buts or maybes it was a fact and i told the doctor that, he then tried to persuade me that all i needed to do was join weight watchers and count calories and as i pointed out that was how i had lost the 3kgs.. It was too little, taking too long. At this point he told me he would book me in to see another doctor in the surgery, one who wouldn't have the same ethical dilemma as him, and would definitely prescribe me the duromine. I didn't believe that i would get the script, not for a second. The next day when i saw the 'other' doctor he said yes, immediately, That was when i found out, after stepping on the scales, that i had been 144kgs when i last visited the surgery a year ago. Suddenly 3kgs in 2 months became 11kgs over 12 months which was still not enough but it put things into perspective a little. The 3kgs was no longer a fluke that i was kind of scared to believe in, now it was apparent that the changes i had implemented into my life style were actually doing something. Not enough but a start. Annnnnyway i did have a point i was getting at
i digress.. The 'other' doctor, after agreeing to write me out the script, told me to give up the carbs or nothing would change. He then proceeded to tell me a story about a male patient he had helped who used to weigh 150kgs and changed his weight completely by dropping carbs entirely. Apparently he would walk to coles daily and buy a roast chook, then that was all he ate for the day. breakfast, lunch, dinner. The doctor went on to describe how the weight literally melted off him and how, while he wasn't suggesting i ate nothing but chicken, (which was good because i would have gone clucky) it was a very effective way to lose weight. I swear he was 3 heartbeats away from giving me a handful of chicken coupons but then he also told me to eat as much cheese and eggs and meat as possible and when i queried the sat fat content with eating unlimited cheese and eggs he told me while its not good for your internal organs eating a reduced amount of sat fat and trans fat would not affect your weight at all.. Yeeeeeea i read conflicting reports on that soooo now I'm unsure of what the heck i should be eating, really. This morning i had toast at about 8am and for tea at 5.30ish the boys had homestyle chicken burgers. I ate the chicken sliced up and wrapped in lettuce, forgoing the cheese as i've been eating it daily lately. I only drank 1 litre of water today and not until later in the afternoon as i had been drinking it mostly immediately after taking the duromine and read a post suggesting that if you drank large quantities of water all at once you would flush it out of your system. It sounded plausible so i thought i would experiment
no change at all. Nothing. Zero zip nada. Perhaps in the interest of fully exhausting the theory or the reaction with my body as it were i should continue tomorrow in the possibility that the drug needs longer to build up in my system before i see any result but i don't really want to break the habit of drinking a lot of water. I suppose i could try to down 3 litres of water after 4pm tomorrow and maybe that would be enough time to prove or disprove to me that i may have inadvertently been flushing the duromine, at least partly, out of my system every morning. I didn't do any dancing today or even go for a walk- i dedicated myself solely and wholly to cleaning my house. My darling 4yo boy dropped his scooter by the back sliding door and it fell directly into the glass and spider webbed right up. I get to call the organisation I'm leasing through tomorrow morning and explain that to them . Yaaaay.
What a pleasant conversation that is going to be. Undoubtedly they will immediately schedule a house inspection to ensure we are not destroying the property one bit at a time. So i am a bit neat freak obsessed right now. On the plus side I'm not being inactive. Probably the rest from dancing or moving in a totally uncoordinated way, as i do, is not a bad thing as i think jumping around yesterday i might have hurt my stomach. All the 'stab wounds' from the surgery have healed except for the one in my belly button. Trying to keep it dry and minimise the amount i bend over so it can heal and doesn't get infected. It has oozed some but I'm applying detol to it daily so it's clean. I really ought to go and have them checked as they said to book in a week post surgery but i really don't like going unless i have to and i figure i've got to go in 3 weeks to renew my script anyway so i'll just do it then..
Might set my alarm to ensure i was up early enough to take the duromine and get started on the day.
Every time you remove a negative from your life you make more room for positive.
Wooooooooooosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
