Today at 9:38 AM
Hi everyone!
I was thinking of joining the forum for so long, and every time, something will happen, life goes fast, You can't escape from your everyday responsibilities, and at the end of the day, little time or not at all is left for yourself. Which I find rather unfair, but...
Let me introduce myself. My name is Nina. 46 yrs old, wife, mother and workaholic. I thought for about 1 minute. What to write about my current body weight situation, should I just write down what is happening at the moment, or.. And decided to tell my whole story from the beginning. I hope it will help someone, especially the younger members
Since I entered my teenage years, I started being obsessed with my body completion ( rather typical, someone would say)But, that obsession is still here. 30 years later. I love food. Love cooking, love my mom's food, and I guess I should also thank my genes, for being chubby and curvy girl. My first diet started when I was 15. I still remember at the height of 1.67. I was weighing healthy 63 kg. For two weeks I was on cucumber and juice. Fainted a couple of times and I lost nothing. Then, I even gained a bit more, thanks to the stress of being in high school Did I mention that am emotional eater? Yes am. In over the period of 4 years, I was about to finish my studies, gaining 86 and size 16. I was terrified, not happy with myself, low confidence constantly body shaming myself, hating to go in the shops, and face the looks of the retail workers (don't forget, I am talking about being 22 in the 90ties)I feel that the decade was particularly bad, not that body shaming just came all of a sudden or its gone now! I know, it's hard, because it's everywhere.
So, my second diet ( I will mention only the big diet journey) started when I was 22. I was very determined this time. I was like a soldier. So ready to change my life. I was in love as well. That was I think one of my biggest motion wheels. In two and a half months, I lost 18 kg. My parents were freaking out. They started pressuring me to stop, or at least to go and see the doctor. Hm. The doctors. Just to stop my mom siting on the phone for hrs, and harassing me to stop with the diet, I decided to take the blood test. I forgot to mention. My diet was eating no food, ( grapefruit, toast salads) drinking coffee and sleeping. The blood test came awesome! My levels were great!
Then, my GP recommended healthy diets, know by physicians, I should follow that not just making my own diet. So, he recommended Atkins. I've never heard about Atkins before. So i did my research, and just to keep up with my new weight, my gained confidence, my beautiful
new body, my size 10 body, I decided to continue with Atkins. In the meantime i got married, got pregnant, and during a rather difficult pregnancy I lost additional weight, so I was 9mnts pregnant with 67 kilos, looking skinnier than ever. I gained weight again in the next months following the birth of my child, but hey, Atkins was here. I was on Atkins with occasional breaks for about 3 or 4 years. My health deteriorated bad! I lost my bone's muscle density, having constant cramps, I was miserable and hungry for most of the time, lucky not to asked for a divorce. But I was skinny.
Second pregnancy brought back the lost. I was 34, and 109. Yes. Irregular Hart pulsations, cholesterol, occasional astma attacks, depression, endless health issues, size 20... I simply couldn't control my body. If anyone can relate. It’s like you are driving a plane, but never been to a pilot school. Then my GP recommended reductil! Hmm mm
Lord my lord! I lost 10 kg in one month! But after three months he stopped prescribing. I started eating. The vicious circle of nine wheels of heel ( diets, loosing gaining yo yo effects, health issues, spending money for clothes i never put on, size 10 to 20) continued for about 10 yrs. Till I changed my GP. He recommended duromine.
Duromine. Hello. Welcome to my life. The year is 2017. March. I am sitting on 98 kg. miserable middle age lady. My hubby is getting better looks with age. My GP prescribed me with 30 mg for three months. I continued taking duromine for 8 months. So, by Christmas 2017 I was 59! Yes59 kg. Then I had stomach issues, stopped eating because of the severe viral infection and lost an additional 4 kg. I entered 2018 with 55 kg!!!! Life was beautiful again! I was in heaven, literally! Size 6! Going in the shops just to try on sizes. I stopped taking duromine for a while. Obviously. Then Slowly started creeping into my bad habits, and just when I hit 65 I continue taking duromine. The year is 2021. I am still fighting like hell. Still on and off duromine. Increased even, 40 mg. Changing GPs, endless weighing, going through menopause.... I think it's time for me to stop. But that's my life. I really don't know what to do or how to change this illness. I am stuck in my own misery of constant gaining and losing weight. It's getting harder and harder, and the motivation is gone. But I wanted to share my story. There is so much more. If anyone has a question, shoot. I also have a lot of as wells..I am here to stay. I need support.
Sincerely
Nina