I come from a long line of women who did everything for everyone else at the detriment of their physical, mental and emotional health and luckily, over the years, I made a firm decision that I was not going to go down this path. When you are depleted, you are no good to anyone, least of all yourself. You cannot pour from an empty vessel!
So a daily mantra for me is "SELF FIRST". If I need to rest, I rest. If I need to cry, I cry. If I need to get out and go for a walk, I get out and go for a walk. And, by taking care of myself, I subconsciously give permission to everyone around me to do the same. For instance, my husband and I are very good at communicating what we need to each other. If he needs something, then I help him get what he needs and vice versa. And, because we are not constantly 'running on empty' we can each step up when the other needs help.
We are all a work in progress and it takes courage to live the way you want to live, especially if the people around you are used to something different. In my experience communication is key. Give yourself permission to say "I need... some time out, a 20-minute nap, a hot bath, you to put away the groceries" whatever it is that you need to replenish. When you take care of yourself in this way you strengthen the relationship you have with yourself and, let's face it, you have to live with you for the rest of your life. You are your longest commitment. You deserve the love you keep giving to everyone else. Self-care builds self-respect. When you have self-respect, other people instinctively know to respect you more. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have in your life.
So, if you're reading this right now and some bells are ringing, forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it. Give yourself permission to do something just for you today. You are not responsible for fixing everything that is broken. You don't have to try and make everyone happy. For now, it's about you. What can you do right now that you may have been putting off, but really need? Do that!
So a daily mantra for me is "SELF FIRST". If I need to rest, I rest. If I need to cry, I cry. If I need to get out and go for a walk, I get out and go for a walk. And, by taking care of myself, I subconsciously give permission to everyone around me to do the same. For instance, my husband and I are very good at communicating what we need to each other. If he needs something, then I help him get what he needs and vice versa. And, because we are not constantly 'running on empty' we can each step up when the other needs help.
We are all a work in progress and it takes courage to live the way you want to live, especially if the people around you are used to something different. In my experience communication is key. Give yourself permission to say "I need... some time out, a 20-minute nap, a hot bath, you to put away the groceries" whatever it is that you need to replenish. When you take care of yourself in this way you strengthen the relationship you have with yourself and, let's face it, you have to live with you for the rest of your life. You are your longest commitment. You deserve the love you keep giving to everyone else. Self-care builds self-respect. When you have self-respect, other people instinctively know to respect you more. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have in your life.
So, if you're reading this right now and some bells are ringing, forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it. Give yourself permission to do something just for you today. You are not responsible for fixing everything that is broken. You don't have to try and make everyone happy. For now, it's about you. What can you do right now that you may have been putting off, but really need? Do that!