Well, it's been an interesting week, that's for sure! I'm afraid this may be a long post, but that's okay, right?
On days 1-3, I found it really hard to eat anything at all. I ended up being very glad that I'd weighed portions of peanuts for myself to snack on, because eating a meal was the last thing I felt I could handle, so I just nibbled throughout the day so I could actually eat something without feeling like vomiting, eek! I also exercised, playing Dance Dance Revolution at home on light mode without jumps for some very low-impact cardio, but longer sessions. This type of exercise seems to be the sweet spot for me at this weight, easy on the knees, and not too taxing on my arthritic back, but working up a good sweat.
On days 4-7, my appetite started to return. I don't know why, but for some reason over this week I developed a terribly unhealthy relationship with food, that I shouldn't be eating because I'm trying to lose weight. I felt guilty each time I had a mouthful of toast, even though my portions were unbelievably small. Perhaps I should have spent more time on this forum, where everyone has a much healthier and positive attitude towards food. I honestly have no idea how I managed to have such a horrible mindset about myself and food, and I've got to put a stop to it somehow.
Something interesting I discovered was that I found it very difficult to complete my normal weight training sessions while on D. I don't know why this is, but I just couldn't complete my usual regimen. I felt so much weaker, and it really bothered me, because I've spent quite a while building my muscles and getting stronger, and this week it was just too much to handle. I visited my GP during the week, and he said not to worry too much about it and just do what I can. I still feel a little discouraged by the fact that I can't lift like I did before I started D, but maybe it's just something I'll have to deal with through this experience.
I also noticed that my spinal arthritis has been the worst it's been for almost a year during this first week on D. I still do all the stretches the physio taught me, but for some stupid reason the pain is just so intense sometimes I just have to lie down, or if I'm exercising, take a 5 minute break to stretch and take some pressure off it for a while. Since I was diagnosed (5 years ago now) I've been building core strength to help support it, and I've got some killer abs and back muscles under all this fat, so it's not that I'm not being proactive in my treatment, just for some weird reason it's really flared up this week.
I tried skipping rope on day 4, but unfortunately my back just can't take it right now. Perhaps this will change as I get lighter, and I'll try it again if I manage to lose 10 kilos or so and see how my back goes with it then.
From day 4 onwards, I started going on long walks. Wednesday night, I walked 3.5km with my partner, and showed him where I went to primary school, which was pleasant. Thursday-Saturday we went on power walks in the mornings, with distances of 7km, 9km and 6km. I felt really guilty because I had to sit down every 2km or so, because of my back. I've really got to get a handle on my negative self-talk and guilt for having health problems, for some reason I easily fall into beating myself up because my bad back prevents me from doing the entire thing in one go.
Today is rest day, and my grandma and my partner have both told me they'd better not catch me exercising today, because they don't want me to burn out. I might direct my energy towards creating more content for my YouTube channel instead, heh.
And finally, here's the weight loss figures from week one:
Starting Weight (18 January 2015): 103.8kg
Current Weight (25 January 2015): 99.1kg
Goal Weight: 75kg
Loss so far: 4.7kg I know most of that's water weight, as after calculating caloric deficits for the whole week, it still adds up to an absolute maximum of 2kg of fat, even if the calorie burning estimates of the exercise I performed are correct, which is unlikely, so it's more likely around 1-1.5kg of fat. But it's a good start!
Sorry for the massive post, it's been a long week, haha. If anyone has tips on more positive self-talk, or tips for how not to fall into the trap of beating oneself up about silly things, I'd really appreciate it! I unfortunately find it so easy to guilt trip myself even if I'm performing to the maximum of my current ability, and tend to compare myself to other, far fitter individuals, which is really silly I know, but I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to much higher standards than are realistic for someone at my current fitness level and health problems... So any tips on staying positive would be absolutely amazing!!
Hope you're all having a great weekend!
